The Areth: Long, Lost Brethren or Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?
February 4, 2008
By: Paul M. Anderson
Except for the most isolated and primitive parts of this planet, nearly everyone in the world knows of our visitors from the stars. Aliens, who look like us, miraculously speak every major language on the planet, and claim to be the very generators of our existence. Some have accepted their promises of a better world without hesitance, arguing that to believe we were alone in the universe would be sanctimonious and egotistical. Others beg for prudence, their words often falling on deaf ears, as it would seem if the rulers of the world's major countries are any indicator.
But who are the Areth? What else do we really know about them? And if their claims are true, what does it mean for the human race and everything we have ever known to be true?
Whatever your religious affiliation may or may not be, it has always been a generally accepted truism that the people of Earth came from, well, Earth. Whether you believe Divine Intervention placed us here, or you believe we crawled from the primordial goo and sprouted legs, it all happened on this Big Blue Marble. Makes sense, right?
Not according to the newest inhabitants of our ever-shrinking planet.
Let me give you the long and the short of it, just in case you have been living in a cave for the last few months.
Last week, at a press conference held at the White House following a lengthy closed-door meeting with President Bush, Warrick made the following statement. Again, for those of you in the dark, Warrick is apparently the Areth's version of the Prez -- the Big Cheese -- High Honcho -- The Boss.
"...Ten thousand years ago, an exploration ship was lost in this part of the galaxy and its inhabitants assumed dead. We now know those scientists found their way to this planet, and survived despite the primitive elements. Ten centuries apart have changed us, made us separate -- Human and Areth -- but we are at the core the same. We are brethren."
Long story short, they are our ancestors. Not Adam and Eve. Not hunchbacked cavemen with buckteeth and uni-brows. A bunch of highly advanced 'aliens' from the other side of the galaxy spawned us.
So, what about Adam and Eve, and every other belief we have held on to for more generations than any of us can count? Do we just say, "Okay, sure. Sounds good. You must be right; you are the superior race and all."?
I don't know about the rest of you, but I've watched way too many science fiction movies to swallow this cock and bull story. The second you fall for it is when their eyes glow, a ten-foot tongue comes flying out of their mouth, or you find out you have some reptilian embryo clawing its way out of your gut.
Rev. Jedediah Quinn said yesterday during a highly publicized sermon from his church in Tallahassee, Florida "To throw aside our faith in God and the very teachings of the Word would be an abomination. These Areth are not our forefathers. The same God created both Man and Areth, but God put us here, not them. Our history is our own, our past our own, and our future should be our own."
Science has proven that, at least on a genetic level, we are indeed made up of the same DNA soup as the Areth. Our hearts are in the same place, they beat at pretty much the same rhythm. Their blood isn't green. They don't have large, bulbous heads and clawed hands. So, what sets us apart? How have we evolved differently over the last ten thousand years or so? Apparently, the Areth don't like to 'get it on'.
That's right. No hanky panky.
If that's the future, you can have it. I don't want it. I like things just the way they are.
Apparently, the Areth recreate themselves through cloning. And remember how your college buddies told you if you didn't use it, you'd lose it? They were right...
So, they show up and say they're our long lost brethren. They want to move in and mingle amongst us lesser-developed Areth wannabees. Why? What do we have to offer them? And why should we let them stay? Other than the fact that they have some big honkin' space guns, they claim they want to 'share' their knowledge. They want to teach us how to improve our world, make ourselves better, stronger... live longer.
Did I mention they live to be close to five hundred years old?
And look damn good doing it, too!
I'm not claiming I know what we should do. I'm not even sure I have a solid opinion yet. The scales tip back and forth... No sex? No way... Live longer? I could deal with that... as long as I can keep the sex.
Paul Anderson signing off... Live Long and Prosper... Nanu Nanu.